Words Hold Weight

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Pro. 25:11   

Some people may not know this, but the words that we speak hold life to them.  In fact they produce fruit, either good or bad. As a writer, I know that words are very important and that just one word can create the most beautiful image, or create an image of darkness and foreboding.  I might use the word “meadow” for a beautiful image, and “gutter” for a dark image.  If I had a dime for every word I’ve changed, I’d probably be rich today.  In my blog, What am I Holding Onto? I talked about confession, and confessing our sins.  I shared how powerful this is especially when it comes to our salvation and the transformation that needs to take place in our lives – it is the difference between heaven and hell.  Just think of it, when we confess our sins we have just escaped the fires of hell itself!  Now that’s powerful.  And when we confess our sins to a person we have wronged or who has wronged us (forgiven them), we restore fellowship with them and God, and possibly divert an entire future generation from the destructiveness of bitterness, or a bitter root of unforgiveness.  We may have diverted a serious illness that could have developed.  And if we want to be well and not contribute to more stress in our life, we need to do more honest confessing from our hearts.  Let’s look at the following:

James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. NIV

Words can create strife or they can create peace.  I’m sure almost everyone has been in a heated argument.  Arguments are really battles that go on in our flesh, or our soul.  We feel attacked, just the same or worse as if we have been hit by a hand grenade, and what’s worse, we attack back, thinking that we’ll feel better.  But of course we just add fuel to the fire and things progressively get worse.  Nobody wins in an argument, ever. Words can destroy.  And what is the cause?  It’s the tongue.  Look at what James has to say about it:

Jas 3:2  We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

Jas 3:3  When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.

Jas 3:4  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

Jas 3:5  Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

Jas 3:6  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

 

Jas 3:7  All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man,

Jas 3:8  but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Jas 3:9  With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.

Jas 3:10  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Jas 3:11  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

Jas 3:12  My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Jas 3:13  Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

Jas 3:14  But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.

Jas 3:15  Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.

Jas 3:16  For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Jas 3:17  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Jas 3:18  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. NIV

Look at verse 6: The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Wow!  That’s quite an image.  When we let our tongue loose in our anger, we are inadvertently calling up the fire from the pit of hell and doing our most destructive work!  Satan is having a heyday with us and he didn’t even have to do anything.  We give him an easy victory.  And we already know that anger contributes to heart disease, ulcers and other medical problems.  And the words we speak and the way we say them can cost us a marriage, a job, a relationship and so on.  Without the “wisdom from above” that James talks about, we are walking on very shaky ground if we’re not careful.

One time I was working as a temp office worker at a warehouse.  My boss yelled at me for something I did in front of the entire staff.  Everyone stopped working and you could hear a pin drop.  Then all eyes fell on me.  I had never in my life felt so publicly humiliated.  I stewed and stewed about it all day and all night, and decided to talk to him, so I could regain some sense of self-worth.  So the next day I went into his office and told him that what he had done had really embarrassed me.  He apologized, but at the end of my temporary term, I was not asked to stay on.  I believe that my honesty (I was being assertive and not aggressive) cost me possible future employment there.  Was I wise in asserting how I was feeling?  Probably not, especially if I had wanted to stay on and/or come away with good references.  Maybe if I had gone into that office and humbly apologized for making the mistake in the first place (even if it really was no big deal!), I would have stayed on and he would have promoted me.

But this brings up an interesting question that I have battled with from time to time.  Have you ever known someone, or perhaps you even have to live with someone, that is prone to anger?  They just seem really difficult to get along with no matter how hard you try!  You feel that nothing you do is good enough and you just can’t seem to please them, so you walk around on eggshells for fear they will strike again.  This might be a member of your family or an in-law, a boss, a supervisor, a co-worker, a church member, or another parent in your kid’s hockey team.  They’re the ones who seem to be always right and often they like to run the show.  Your ideas are often shelved or not even heard.  And if you dare say anything to challenge them, pardon the expression, but there will be hell to pay!  I’ve often wondered what to do in such a case.  In my blog, What am I Holding Onto? I talked about identifying and confessing my own sin.  Yes, people may have hurt me, but I am not responsible for their actions, I am only responsible for my reaction.  Is it gracious and will God be pleased with me, or I am lashing out in anger to try and get even, or perhaps keeping quiet and silently stewing?

The Bible offers us much wisdom on how to deal with people in such challenging situations:

Prov. 15:1  A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Prov. 15:2  The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. KJV 

Have you ever known someone who is soft-spoken and you rarely, if ever, hear them say a bad word about anybody?  Although these people may be hard to find, they are out there.  I had a very sweet uncle like that. And I have a very wonderful mother who is like that.  Some people are gifted to be peacemakers, and my mother is one of them.  When she sees that people are at odds with each other, she doesn’t say anything, but she prays hard that the situation be resolved and peace be restored.  She encourages people to be friends.  I love that about her.  She stretches me to soften my heart and humble myself to restore fellowship when needed.  We hear so much about conflict-resolution where each injured party shares their story and then a moderator or counsellor tries to find a way to resolve it.  Sometimes we resist resolving conflict because we are more concerned about “being right” and getting our own “rights” fulfilled than we are about keeping the peace with someone.

And there are other words we say that may or may not have to do with relationships, and these are called “idle” words: 

Mat 12:36  But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Mat 12:37  For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

There may be many different interpretations of the word “idle,” but I believe this means anything that is not profitable and has no value whatsoever.  We must remember, God sees everything we do and He hears everything we say!  So if we can imagine that He is with us everywhere we go, and He is a Righteous, Holy and sinless God, won’t we be more careful what we say?  And in the verse that follows, we see the impact that our words have.

Throughout this blog series Cures for Stress, I have talked about thoughts and the source of our thoughts.  What we think determines our level of stress.  And what we think of others and how we treat them will determine how successful we will be in all of our relationships, including the one we have with God.  In today’s Scripture from James, we have a great insight into the wisdom that comes from God:

Jas 3:17  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. NIV

Words from God are pure.  There are no mixed motives.  Satan will try and whisper things in our ear to create strife with someone and he’ll try and get us stirred up.  And have you ever noticed that he’ll attack when you least expect it, like early in the morning just when you’re coming out of sleep?  He wants to ruin our day, that’s for sure!  These thoughts aren’t from God.  God’s words to us build us up and build others up, they encourage us to love better and love more.  If anything, His words restore relationships, not tear them down.  His words bring us peace, and with peace comes well-being. 

Heb. 13:15  By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

Praise will transform our heart, and then what comes out of our mouth will change to glorify God.  And then the most wonderful gift of peace will be ours no matter what is going on all around us. 

Thank you for reading and may your day be blessed with hearing and saying life-giving words.