The Stress of Grief

Yesterday we discussed burden bearing and caring for others who need help.  Today I’d like to talk about grief.  Sometimes when we are caring for a loved one, God chooses not to heal them.  We pray for them and we believe, but still they pass away.  This leaves us in shock and disbelief and we hardly know how to handle it.  And sometimes a loved one is suddenly taken away through an accident or some other sudden way.  It is at these times that our faith is tested to the very core.  We wonder how we’re ever going to get through it. 

Someone I know had an aged father-in-law who passed away and his memorial service was a week later.  But unexpectedly, her young son died in an accident just a few days after her father-in-law had passed away.  So her son’s memorial service was just a couple of days after her father-in-laws, and she had to plan for that one as well.  This is unbelievable!  Who would have thought?  No one is ever prepared for these things, and yet they happen. 

I am no expert in this area, and few are because we’re all susceptible to death (whether our own or a loved one’s).  But Jesus is the one who is.  Grief is a time when we need to nestle in with Jesus and allow Him to comfort us as only He can.  No one understands like Jesus.  When He was on this earth, He experienced grief.  In fact, it was all a part of the divine plan: 

Isa 53:3  He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isa 53:4  Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Isa 53:5  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. KJV 

I am sure in many Easter services this weekend, the above passage of Scripture will be read or at least referred to.  Not only did Jesus experience grief, He bore our grief.  What does this mean?  First, we know that Jesus experienced grief when his friend Lazarus, whom He loved, had died.  Read the story in John 11:1-44.  In verse 35 it says Jesus wept.  I think it’s the shortest verse in the entire Bible, but a profound one.  We might wonder why Jesus wept, especially since He knew He would be raising Lazarus from the dead.  But remember He was God in human form, so He was subject to all of our temptations and trials, griefs, joys, sorrows and all that we go through in this life (and yet He was without sin!). 

Heb 4:15  For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Heb 4:16  Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Secondly, and here is a big bouquet of hope, Jesus bore our grief and our sorrows!  Nothing can burden our hearts heavier than grief and sorrow can.  Some people actually grieve so much, that they have a heart attack and die shortly after they lose a loved one.  They just can’t bear the grief in their heart, and they can’t imagine life without their loved one.  Some people are never the same again after they lose a loved one, especially if they have lost a child.  And some things we just can’t understand, but God has infinite wisdom and I believe, that according to His Word, there is a reason for everything that happens.  Some day we will understand.  Today if you are grieving from losing a loved one, Jesus wants to take your sorrow and your grief.  He’s done it for me.  Many years ago, long before I was married or had even met my husband, I got involved in a relationship that was wrong from the start since he wasn’t even a Christian.  But somehow I got so emotionally attached to him that when it ended, I couldn’t get over the grief.  I was just weighed down by it and could hardly function.  Well I knew there was something terribly wrong because this had not happened in such a way before, and so I prayed.  I asked God to remove the grief from me.  So one day I was driving down a busy city street, and I remember that all of a sudden the grief left me and I was free from it!  It never returned and I was able to go on in my life, unhindered by the weight of this grief.   

I think that there are some people who believe that if you don’t feel the pain and grief of losing a loved one, that it shows you didn’t really care about them.  And yet, the Lord knows we can only take so much grief and no more!  And I believe that our loved ones would want us to go on with our life and be joyful and live fruitful lives with the time we have left.  And if our loved one is saved, they’re with Jesus, so they’ve never been happier!  But this is not to make light the grieving process.  Everyone grieves a little differently, and for some it takes longer than others. 

I’m sure everyone’s heard of Job.  Here is a man who suffered at the hands of Satan, and with God’s permission!  It’s a most incredible account of a wealthy and successful man with a large prospering family who lost everything including his health.  We can’t even imagine the grief he suffered, and yet he said: 

Job 13:15  Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him. 

In spite of everything that was happening to him, he still trusted in God.  Job is one of the most insightful books in the Bible when it comes to human suffering.  Also, when God speaks to Job near the end of the Book of Job, around chapter 38 right through to chapter 42, we have some of the most descriptive language about the wonders of God to be found anywhere in the Bible.  So when Job is going through all of this, he is learning so much about God, probably more than he ever would have known if he wasn’t suffering so much.  Even though he trusts God, he is still looking for answers like anyone else would in such a situation!  Perhaps God used the trials of Job in order to get his attention.  He wanted Job to grow leaps and bounds in his walk with God.  And at the end of his time of testing, this is what Job concludes: 

Job 42:1  Then Job answered the LORD, and said,

Job 42:2  I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.

Job 42:3  Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.

Job 42:4  Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.

Job 42:5  I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.

Job 42:6  Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. KJV 

In addition to learning so much more about God, Job has learned something about himself.  Even though he has undergone this testing, he realizes, that in light of the splendour and majesty and deep knowledge of God, he is small indeed, and he repents in dust and ashes. 

How easy it is to blame God and lash out when we are grieving and in pain over losing a loved one.  Yet this time can be used to draw ever nearer to the One who gave His life for us, and it can be a time of the greatest growth in our lives.  And grief is not something we need to hold onto especially when God is willing to take it from us.  I love the following verse that is filled with such hope: 

Psa 30:5  For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.  

Thank you for reading and may God Bless You and be with you.