The Stress of Special Occasions

Even though most of us enjoy special occasions, there can be a great deal of stress involved, whether you are the one involved in the planning, or you are the one that people are celebrating, or even if you are merely attending.  This summer we had a family reunion.  Seeing us all together, I was amazed at how large our family had grown, and everyone except one, managed to make it.  We had a wonderful visit and the weather was beautiful too.  A great deal of planning and emailing back and forth went into this three day reunion.  We were scattered across the country and flights had to be booked.  Hotel arrangements had to be made and booking a special gathering place where we could all gather and share a meal and fellowship.  We even had an agenda so we’d have an idea where everyone was, which included meal times and suggestions for recreation.   

But in spite of careful planning, sometimes things happen beyond our control.  The hotel we had booked a couple of months earlier had a devastating fire two days before our arrival date!  So the planner in our family stayed up until 3 or 4 in the morning trying to find another hotel in that short time period, and she did!  It was even better than the first hotel, since it offered more amenities and was in a better location.  We were so pleased to all be together even for a short period of time and share our memories, our stories and photos, and also make new memories.    

In our family, we have had many such get-togethers all through the years and I have photos of each event, showing how we’ve changed and grown.  But some families are not as open to family reunions and special occasions and would rather avoid them altogether.  They find them stressful, either because it seems like a lot of bother trying to plan it and get everyone together, it’s too expensive, or because not everyone gets along.  In larger settings, when I’ve attended a friend’s wedding for instance, I’ve noticed that people’s feelings can get hurt if they start to feel left out, or if little cliques start to form shutting others out.  It’s always best to try and be a floater at these occasions – float from one person to another and try not to spend so much time with only one or two people.  And if it has been planned right and is feasible, there will be opportunity for everyone to mingle, while still giving attention to the person or people being celebrated.  

If you are a planner for any special occasion, then you are definitely in the hot seat.  As a planner for a special occasion (and I haven’t done too many of these), there are many things to think of.  If done right, after you’ve booked the restaurant or hall, then invited the people, you still need to order a cake, buy napkins and decorations and consider where you’ll seat everyone.  You wouldn’t think about this, but seating is a very important issue.  If you get this part wrong, you may make enemies or seat people with other people that don’t even get along.  Another thing about planning is that if you need to ask for help, you have to make sure the person(s) helping understand exactly what it is you are trying to achieve.  And you have to hope they will remember to do their part.  Sometimes a rival planner will try to thwart your plans because they see things differently.  I am sure this happens when weddings are being planned.  The bride’s family and the groom’s family may want two different things.  They may be of completely different faiths.  One family may allow alcohol, the other does not.  So if weddings are not planned in a way that accommodates both sides, weddings can start off the family dynamics in a negative way, and continue that way for many years to come!

Without a doubt, the greatest source of pressure when you’re a planner of any event is when you try to please everyone.  In some cases, it simply can’t be done.  I heard of a person who volunteered as the social event planner for his apartment complex.  He would meet with the residents and find out what their interests were and then plan events accordingly.  Some events went well and people seemed to be happy, and others did not go as well.  Some people chose to be critical, and yet they wouldn’t volunteer to help out!  In fact, it was such a difficult job with little reward (and a volunteer one at that), that he eventually gave up and quit. 

For anyone in a position of planning and all the stress that goes with that, the Bible offers some wonderful insights into how to do this without feeling as if you’ve entered a snake pit.  The first thing is to be humble about it.  A planner is really a server because you are (hopefully) considering the needs and wants of others.

Rom 12:10  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. NIV

 

Instead of striving for a perfect and flawless event, a planner needs to be focusing on relationships first and foremost, and I’m sure many good planners do this.  The question should be: How can I do this in a way that is pleasing to God, and at the same time blesses others?  When God is invited into the planning, there is peace and harmony even if every little detail isn’t perfect.  People will feel blessed and honored.  This has been the case when a church I attended offered a simple but delicious lunch after the service every Sunday.  Different ones volunteered to bring food each week.  It was extremely well thought-out.  Since it depended on where you stood in line, each Sunday you would be following a different person(s), and so you would end up sitting with someone different on a kind of rotation basis.  This way you eventually got to meet everyone in the church.  Everyone mingled and no one felt left out.

For anyone who is a recipient or a guest, the same principal of humility applies.  Many times, the bride and groom will cater to their guests (like handing each guest a piece of cake) and make sure everyone feels honored.  Some guests will go out of their way to smooth things over for the sake of other guests (like watching or playing with overly-hyper kids).  And recipients especially need to find ways to show gratitude to the one(s) who planned it all. 

It is God’s will for us to fellowship together and enjoy the company of others.  Imagine what a special occasion would look like if everyone put aside their own selves and instead devoted themselves to ensuring the comfort and happiness of others.  This is what is pleasing and honoring to God, not just when it comes to special occasions, but in every situation where another person is involved. 

                                                                                 

Stress & Home Life

Home is said to be the only place you can really go to find your center, i.e., it is where you go to escape the stresses of the world outside.  It is a place to store your stuff, and to happily decorate, where you eat, sleep and possibly socialize.  This is where your land line phone is, your mailbox, your computer, your favorite books, hobbies, your fridge, clothes, TV and so on.  Most importantly, this is likely where the rest of your family is as well, including your pets.  So you wouldn’t think home life would present stress issues, would you? And yet it can and so often does.  In fact, some people avoid going home or staying home, because they want to avoid all the work that awaits them there.  Others don’t want to be alone with their thoughts.  Some people find it boring to be at home, away from the action happening in the outside world.

Two of the most obvious stresses that immediately come to mind are the stress from other family members, and on the opposite end of the scale, the stress of being alone.  For instance, if you are a parent with more than one child, one of your stresses is likely making sure that your children are getting along and not fighting with each other.  Added to that, you are trying to train them and prepare them for school life, help them with their homework, or get them to clean their own room.  And if your children are real small, you may feel like you can never go out without hiring a babysitter.  Once they are older, you experience a whole new set of stresses once they start dating!  If you are single with no partner or children, one of your stresses may be loneliness and finding a way out of that.  There are other situations where home life can be stressful, for example, if you are unemployed, retired, or ill and unable to work for a time.  In each of these situations, it isn’t necessarily your “home” that is the source of stress, but the fact that you are “house-bound” either because you have no place to go, or don’t know where to go, or you are too sick or tired to go anywhere. 

As well, there can also be a great deal of stress if you work at home, either as a stay-at-home mom, housewife or househusband, or even if you work at home running your own business.  When I used to work in an office all day, I would long for the day I could work at home.  I wanted to write full time and have the freedom to pursue my artistic interests, on my own time and out of the comfort of my own home.  Finally, that day came and all by a miracle of God.  I thank God for opening up this door for me.  But working at home definitely has its challenges too.  You wouldn’t think that working at home would be associated with stress, but surprisingly, it can be and is.  For one thing, you need to be disciplined to actually get down to doing the work, and not being side-tracked in doing too many other things.  If you don’t set guidelines for yourself, your work will pile up and not get done.  The other obvious stress, and this has been discussed in many an article and magazine, is the lack of social interaction.  So if at all possible, it is important to go out, even briefly, and be with people and interact somehow.

But since most people work outside of their home, what can be done to make home a welcoming and peaceful retreat, and a place you look forward to going to?  As far as housework goes, or keeping a place clean, organized and liveable, that’s where some determination and sweat comes in.  Three areas that I find constantly need attending are the washrooms, kitchen and laundry.  Other jobs are sweeping and wiping floors, picking up clutter, feeding our cats and attending to their various wants, and trying to sort out the piles of mail we get.  Since I work at home, I am frequently trying to keep my work life separate from my home life, which can be most stressful since I do so many different things (writing, artwork, sewing, scrapbooking, etc.) and do not have one large separate workshop.  Often, my work is in two different residences and the other residence is 1½ hours away.  So I have to really think about what I’ll be doing each week, so I don’t forget something when I go to the other residence.

What I have learned, and read, is that whether you work at home or not, finding a way to be organized is paramount.  Remember all the HGTV shows about getting rid of clutter?  I remember a talk show that dealt with clutter and showed a woman who had accumulated so much stuff she couldn’t even find her furniture!  Her home was like a warehouse with piles and piles of goods she had bought, and there was only a narrow walkway in each room to get from room to room.  What a great incentive to think twice before you buy more than one item of the same thing because it’s on sale!  Nowadays, it isn’t difficult to find ways to stay organized and you can be very creative in doing so.  I use baskets for magazines, gift bags, and so on.  Otherwise, in my craft room, I keep everything in clear storage bins so I can see what’s in them.  I try to get rid of things all the time – they are donated, sold or thrown out altogether.  I try to make it a rule, especially when it comes to kitchen things, that if I buy something new, the old must go.  If I buy a new set of juice glasses, the old ones will be given away.  Otherwise, where would I store all these extra glasses?  Every season, I try to get rid of clothes to make room for new ones I may have bought.  And finally, I bought a hand-sized labeller.  If my storage box isn’t clear so that I can see what’s in it, I label my boxes so I can easily find things.  If you live in a smaller space, consider floor to ceiling shelving units.  These are great for books, photo albums, and DVD’s.  When it comes to housecleaning and organizing, take your time and make it something you enjoy.  Think of the freedom you’ll feel once it’s done and you’ve freed up some extra space by getting rid of some clutter.    

Finally, and this is most important, whenever you move to a new place, make it a habit to pray over each room.  Pray for God’s presence to be with you all the while you live in your new home.  In fact, you can do this at any time.  And start your day with prayer.  Ask God to guide you and lead you and ask for His perfect peace to be felt in your life and in your home.  Pray over and if possible, pray with your family.  You can do this after mealtime when (hopefully) everyone is together.  In our home, we pray together and discuss important issues together.  I can tell you, that when you invite God into your life, and into your living spaces, not only will you enjoy being at home more, but your guests will feel it too.  This is a great gift to give yourself, your friends and family since they may need a place to find peace and refuge from the hard day or difficult week they have just undergone. And what better way to relieve stress than to gather together your favorite people and enjoy a nice meal or even just a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake?  For what really makes a house or an apartment a home is the people and the love we have for one another.  Our home can be a place of worship to God and sweet fellowship with one another, like in the first church recorded in the New Testament.  Look at the beautiful picture of fellowship presented here:

Act 2:42  They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Act 2:43  Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.

Act 2:44  All the believers were together and had everything in common.

Act 2:45  Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

Act 2:46  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

Act 2:47  praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. NIV

Have a wonderful day and enjoy your home and all the people (and pets) in it.  And if it feels too lonely, do a little dusting, put on the tea kettle, and invite someone over for a fun time of fellowship.   

Stress & Unfulfilled Dreams

If you are anything like me, some of your dreams have been fulfilled, but you are still waiting for others to come to fruition.  Living with unfulfilled dreams can leave us feeling frustrated, impatient, discontent and discouraged.  The stress comes when we try to make things happen on our own, without waiting for God’s perfect timing.  I’m not talking about the little dreams (like I’d like to re-do my bathroom or kitchen).  I’m talking about the really big life-changing dreams, like getting married, having children, or perhaps retiring early from a job and traveling all over the world.  Some dreams are definitely do-able, and others are not, without divine help.  This is what I discovered about one of my major dreams.

For many years, I lived with an unfulfilled dream. I wanted to be married, and as I got into my early 30s, I wondered if it would ever actually happen.  Many of my friends were already married and having children or already had them.  I was a bridesmaid several times, but never a bride!  Even though getting married was on the top of my dream list, I know I wasn’t ready for such a big step until about the last three years before it actually happened.  Through the years, I could have married the wrong person more than once (read more in my book The Journey of Oneness).  When I look back, I shudder to think about what a disaster it would have been!  But somehow I knew that the person I was dating was not the right one and that didn’t make it any easier either.  Perhaps the hardest part of waiting is the unknown, and we wonder, Is this something I should be wanting?  Or after a long time, we think, Should I just abandon this idea altogether?  But my desire and dream of being married never wavered or left me, even though I had given it over to God and had prayed about it many times.

I often think of Abraham and God’s promise to him of a son, when he and his wife Sarah, were well beyond their child-bearing years.  In fact Sarah laughed at the idea!  And yet, God was true to His promise, and Sarah had a son, and they named him Isaac.  Do we even know how many years Abraham and Sarah waited before God gave them a son?  Some say 14 years, others say 25 years.  Similarly, the Jewish people were promised a Messiah hundreds of years before He actually came to earth and was born to Joseph and Mary.  His lineage began with David, the first generation, and then Jesus was born from his line (42 generations later according to Matthew 1:17).  But if we go back to Genesis 3:15, God told the serpent He would send “enmity,” His own Son, who would crush his head (completely defeat him).  The Jewish people waited and waited for their Messiah, through tumultuous years where they would be nearly overcome by their enemies.  Many times they would wonder, Where is the promise of the Messiah?  

So what is this waiting all about?  When I was doing some research, I found a very interesting comment that might help answer this very important question.  The writer said that it is characteristic in the Bible that when God promises something, He sometimes waits until a person is completely incapable of bringing about the promise until they are practically dead.  In other words, they have to be beyond the ability to do anything themselves to bring it about, so that it is a complete miracle of God, and God is glorified by the spectacular workings in performing the impossible!  Wow!  That makes sense, doesn’t it?  The spring of the same year I was to be married (which was later in the fall), I remember distinctly asking God why I had to wait so long for a husband to come along.  God did answer me and spoke to my heart that the reason was because not everything was in place (my husband wasn’t a Christian yet), and that many more people would be affected (those that were still unmarried would be encouraged and those that were married would see our miracle and be drawn closer together).  When it did happen, it was a whirlwind of excitement and activity.  We had been platonic friends for five years, and had known each other for 10 years before that (15 years in total).  God turned the “friendship” into a beautiful romantic relationship, and we have enjoyed a strong and enjoyable marriage together ever since.  Our wedding was put together in three weeks and some of the guests said it was the most beautiful wedding they had ever attended.

How do you know when God is fulfilling your dreams?  You have no doubt because you are filled with a joy and a peace that nothing in this world, or nothing by your own hand can produce.  Scripture says:

Pro 10:22  The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.

There are many other dreams in my life that have been fulfilled, but nothing quite as spectacular as the marriage one.  Each time I have had dreams (many of which I believe that God has placed in my heart), I have had to give them over to Him at some point.  Abraham was asked by God to sacrifice his long-awaited son Isaac (see Genesis 22).  But God stopped him just before he sacrificed him and then God was pleased and promised him even greater blessings than He had first promised him many years before.

Gen 22:15  And the angel of the LORD called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,

Gen 22:16  And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:

Gen 22:17  That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

The lessons for me have similarly been, Do I love God even more than my cherished dreams, and am I willing to lay them down on an altar of sacrifice and abandon them altogether?

Dreams, especially God-given ones, are often what keep us going through the sometimes tough day-to-day grind of daily living.  They are there to give us hope, a future and something to look forward to.  Just because they are not happening right now, today, does not mean they will never happen.  God just wants to bless us with his very best, and He has a perfect timing.  The nice part is, we don’t have to strive to make them happen.  He will open the doors when it is time, and what a day of rejoicing when this happens!  God Bless you today whether you are waiting for your dreams to unfold or whether you are just now seeing them happen!

         

Stress & the Unexpected

What do you do when something unexpected happens to you?  You can plan and plan for your life to run smoothly, and yet, inevitably, things happen that are beyond our control.  Depending on what happens, like a car accident, or a major appliance breaking down, or a loved one suddenly becoming ill, can greatly add to or create stress in our life.  Not too long ago, I was involved in a car collision.  Nothing could have been done to prevent the collision.  Accidents, if anything, cause a great inconvenience.  I spent a couple of hours on the phone reporting the accident to the insurance companies, then had to find an auto-body repair shop who has an available courtesy car.  My plans were definitely thwarted because I really needed the vehicle.  Still, I am so thankful no one was injured.  Feeling shaken and greatly disturbed by it, I prayed and asked God, “Why?”  I had remembered to pray for safety that day, and yet, this still happened.  I didn’t get an answer right away, but I did read something in the Bible that caught my attention:

Ecc 8:6  Because to every purpose there is time and judgment, therefore the misery of man is great upon him.

Ecc 8:7  For he knoweth not that which shall be: for who can tell him when it shall be?

Ecc 8:8  There is no man that hath power over the spirit to retain the spirit; neither hath he power in the day of death: and there is no discharge in that war; neither shall wickedness deliver those that are given to it.  KJV

None of us knows what each day will hold.  We can prepare for many things and do our best to circumvent and prevent disasters or avoid mishaps, but still, sometimes there is nothing we can do about it!  Life here on earth is not perfect.  It has its ups and downs, trials and challenges, and unexpected things will inevitably happen.  After the accident, I just wanted to run away, insulate myself from further accidents, and perhaps consider walking or taking the bus rather than drive a car on busy city streets where everyone is in such a hurry.  In these times of stress and uncertainty, we need to learn not just coping skills, but how to forge on, unafraid to face new challenges.

Many people are struggling with financial pressures.  Prices go up beyond our control and we are caught wondering how we’re going to pay for the unexpected inflated prices.  These are the times where our faith is tested to the limit.  I don’t know about you, but when unexpected things happen to me, I start searching the Bible for answers.  My mind may tell me the practical and most natural thing to do, like get another job to pay for the extra expenses, but God’s Word may say something completely different.  What are His promises when it comes to financial lack?  And what must I do to receive His promises of financial supply?

This is His promise.

Php 4:19  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. KJV

This is what I do.

Mat 6:33  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. KJV

It sounds simple.  He has already promised to supply and that’s a done deal.  As for what I do, I need to be more concerned about the things of God and the things that matter most to Him, and I will experience the supply that I need.  This is how it has always worked for me.

After the accident I was involved in, later that night I was unable to settle down to sleep, so I opened the Bible and read the following:

Psa 41:1  To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble. KJV

   

This got me to thinking, “Have I been too busy with my own issues and forgetting the Lord’s work (i.e. - seek ye first the kingdom of God), and have I failed to consider those much less fortunate that me?”  I knew almost immediately what I needed to do.  The next day, I took a full of bag of new craft items I had made and dropped them off at a center that accepts new items, and then they sell them.  The money they make goes to underdeveloped countries to help the underprivileged build up their economy and farmlands, etc.  I can’t tell you what this did for me.  Although I was still greatly troubled by the accident I had been in, I know that doing good for others is the absolute best antidote to not focusing on personal problems.  By doing this simple thing, I started to feel better knowing that I was able to help someone much worse off than me.  So I went a step further and I also went into their store and bought a couple of items I needed that were hand-made by people in third world countries, and every sale helps support their livelihood.  Then I started thinking about other ways to help people in need and other organizations where I can perhaps help out.

Every single person alive has personal problems, or they will sooner or later.  We need to help each other, and especially, help those in real dire need, like people in third world countries.  This is what doing God’s work is all about.  This is the Church, the Body of Christ, in action.  Think about this for a moment – Christ is the Head of the Church and every Christian is included in the Body of Christ.  Bodies are active, not inactive, unless they’re dead.  If Christ is the Head and He directs our paths, we must put ACTION to what He says to do in His Word.  This is a lesson I have to keep learning and keep doing until it becomes an ingrained habit.  Maybe it took an accident to jar me and get me moving in the right direction, or at least moving and contributing more to the Kingdom of God! 

Many unexpected things can and will happen to us throughout our lifetime, but this is no reason to take a back seat, cower and do nothing in case something else bad happens.  That’s not really living, that’s giving in to fear and defeat.  Instead, we can turn a seemingly negative situation around and turn it into a blessing.  In fact, the Bible tells us to do just that (Rom 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. NIV).  Maybe some of these problematic unexpected things that happen are really there to challenge us not only in our faith, but to give us an opportunity to test God’s Word.  Perhaps it’s a perfect chance to work on being more optimistic, and believe that God will do what He says in His Word when we act on it, regardless of how we may feel.

May we all find time today to consider those less fortunate than us, whether we’re having a good day or a more difficult day.  What a wonderful way to deal with all the unexpected things in life and turn things around, not only for ourselves, but for others in even greater need than we are.

Stress and Technology

In a previous blog I talked about the stress of camping and that this kind of stress can actually be very therapeutic, partly since you are surrounded by God’s nature.  Now I’d like to talk about a stress brought on by man’s own invention – technology, and computers in particular.  How does technology create stress?  All you have to do is own a pc and you already have likely encountered some kind of problem with it especially if it has a Windows platform (Vista was a nightmare).  For one thing, you have to know how to use it, learn all your software programs, and you have to make sure your system is protected.  My computers are all automatically updated as I’m sure yours is, and every time I want to perform a download function, a box pops up and I have to grant permission for the download or some other operating system function.  And heaven help you if you haven’t backed up your work and your hard drive crashes or your computer burns out!  And every time we update our operating systems, I have to re-load every single program each and every time and try to remember which folder the CD’s are stored in.  In a word, my world has become much more complicated and stressful because of technology, not to mention the many hours of my life it has mercilessly gobbled up because of a problem, like running out of memory or disk space!

I remember a world before personal computers infiltrated our homes, society and the world in general, so I can’t help but notice the kinds of effects technology is having on us, both positive and negative.  First, the positive effects of technology are enormous, at least for me.  They have created so many jobs, that our economy would be in sad shape without it.  For me as a writer, I would be completely lost without my hard drive to keep track of all my documents and books, and I love the fact that I can save multiple copies of everything!  This goes for photo storage and copies of all my artworks, too.  I love my digital camera, Blackberry, Blue Ray that is network compatible, our IPod Touch, and my Kindle reader.  How wonderful to be able to connect with people that I know who are scattered all over the continents via Facebook and Twitter.  We are no longer isolated, or are we?

The part that bothers me the absolute most about technology and pc’s is our almost complete dependency on them.  Remember 1999 and the threat of Y2K?  What if the year on all the computers did not roll over to 2000 on New Year’s Eve?  Many people tried to prepare for this.  It could have meant that the world would literally shut down.  Since all the cash registers are computerized, we wouldn’t even be able to buy food, so people stocked up on food.  We bought an alternative method of heating in case hydro and the power lines were affected.  Banks would have been in trouble, since all the data is stored on computer.  Without our bank cards, we couldn’t take out cash.  When you think of it, it’s hard to imagine life without computers, isn’t it?

Let’s look at computers for what they really are – they are a way to communicate, find information, and store information.  Those are their primary functions, and very powerful ones at that.  Take them away and what have you got?  To communicate, you have to phone people using a land line, talk to people in person, or send them a letter.  To find information, you have to ask someone who knows, buy a book on the subject, or go to the library.  To store information, you have to have a filing cabinet and lots of storage boxes.  Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it?  When I talked about camping, I didn’t mention that we don’t bring along our computers.  We brought our cell phones, but computers are off limits when we’re camping.  Without our computers, we discovered a whole new world opening up that we had practically forgotten even existed!  We talked “face to face,” we listened, and we noticed this whole natural world around us – birds, animals, even interesting bugs.  I watched a furry bright yellow caterpillar with coal black eyes squirm across the cement block holding our electrical box.  I had no idea there were so many varieties of trees, brush, wildflowers, and grassland.  At night I looked up and saw a big round silvery moon and black sky with sparkling stars awakening an awe moment in me.  We sat around a fire pit and watched the most vibrant yellow, orange and red flames shoot up and waver against the blackness of the night.  I loved the crackling sound and the wood smell.  Did I once miss my computer or even think about it?  Not once! 

Instead, if I felt a need to write, I either jotted ideas down in my 99 cent note book, or I spent a couple of hours writing in my diary.

I mentioned earlier about the stress of having your computer crash and losing all kinds of valuable information on the internal hard drive.  I had this happen to me once, many years ago, and the computer store was able to restore all the information. It cost me about $300.  Since then, I married a man who is an IT and software expert (analyst), and I can’t remember losing a single mb or gb of information since.  I have learned to store everything on an external hard drive, since we continue to upgrade our operating systems, and they’re portable to hook up to any of our computers.  And I do not have the stress of having to call up a technician when things go terribly wrong because my husband keeps everything in working order and continues to upgrade our software, drivers, and so on, ad infinitum.  That’s the good part of being an IT family, but the worst part is the time it takes to keep it all in good working order!  At one time, my husband ran a small business doing contract work and fixing people’s computers.  During that time, many of our visits to friends and family I wouldn’t see him because he’d be fixing their computer and he’d often (not always) get paid with a free meal!  So computers have been a major part of our life, pretty much like it would if you’re a doctor or other specialist and people are always in need of advice or a cure!  But now he does web page development and design, and doesn’t get asked to fix things nearly as often as before.

How have computers affected life in general?  We all seem to be insatiable when it comes to information.  How much information do we need to know anyway?  We Google everything and we no longer need a dictionary.  We want to know what everyone else is doing, so we log on to Facebook.  We like our images, so we can’t imagine going back to the days of DOS and the black screen with green lettering.  Photography is no longer a special hobby.  Everyone has a digital camera in their cell phones.  And if you are an artist or a crafter, like me, you are now competing with millions of other artists (I’m talking about jewelry in particular) who are also trying to sell their wares online.  There is so much of everything, that the world of commerce has never been so competitive, thanks to our global village marketplace.  There are so many sites offering free services or have low fees to sell your goods (and they’re making their money via ads), that too many people have put their stuff up for sale and you have to charge next to nothing to get a sale!  And will anyone see or click on your ad?  And if you’re thinking of starting an online business with anything having to do with computers, you’re probably too late.  Someone else has probably already thought of it!

Back to basics – even though it may be difficult for some of us to imagine life without computers, it is possible.  Just think of computers like children – you can’t let them run your life.  You have to set boundaries for them, and not allow them to go beyond those boundaries.  What do I mean?  I set a goal and a limited amount of time that I will spend on the computer, and then I walk away.  There are times nothing works on the computer and I will spend an entire morning shutting it off and turning it on until either it works, or my husband gets home and fixes it.  But those times are rare.  It’s different when you are working at a job and you have to use your computer.  You can’t walk away for more than your required breaks (unless to get up and stretch), but after work, you can likely do something completely different.  In our case, my husband and I are working on computers most of the day every day.  So we have to make a concerted effort not to be working on them all evening as well, although sometimes we need to.  I know there are some people who are at home all day and spend the day on Facebook or emailing because they are so isolated and need people contact.  But there’s always a better way – pick up the phone and call someone, or go for a drive, shopping, a park or anywhere people are (I’ll discuss this more in another blog).

Although technology can make us think we can’t do without it, we must remember the difference between needs and wants.  What do we really need?  We need food, shelter and clothing.  We need each other.  And most importantly, we need God.  If the world was stripped of technology as we know it today, we would just have to re-do everything and perhaps go back to a much simpler life.  We would probably pray a lot more and spend more quality time together.  We’d be planting more gardens and learning more survival skills.  Here’s something to think about – what if there was a solar flare big enough to wipe out ALL our technology?  It’s not an impossibility.  Also, we must never become dependent on anything more than we are dependant on God.  Even though I am sure He has inspired technology, everything must be used for His purposes and His glory.  And nothing should ever become another god to us (remember the first commandment? Exodus 20:3  Thou shalt have no other gods before me. KJV).  At any time, we need to be able to put our technology aside, and instead focus on our great and wonderful God who fills the longing of our soul and is delighted when we spend time with Him.

1 John 1:3  That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.  KJV

Now I’m gong to walk away and do just that – read my Bible, pray and thank God for His many blessings, including technology.     

  

Stress and Camping

I once heard it said that if you really want to bond with your loved ones, go on a camping trip.  Camping is when you create a mini-social community and you have to learn to live together in very tight quarters for a specified period of time.  It is the ultimate test of your patience, love for one another, and ability to work well and get along in a compressed social setting.  It is also probably one of the most stressful situations you can get into, other than perhaps planning a wedding or other family get-together (which I’ll discuss in a separate blog).  You are literally re-creating a small livable home in a natural wildlife sort of setting where there are many unknowns.  You have to love the outdoors, be prepared for every kind of weather and the possible intrusion and/or visitation of wild animals who will be scouting for food!

This past week, my husband and I decided to go camping.  Although we have a fully equipped fairly new trailer, it took us something like two weeks to get ready.  We hadn’t camped for five years, and had to completely prepare our camper inside and out, including buying new tires since the original tires had cracked from sitting for so long.  We learned something about tires -- when you let your camper sit, you must cover them properly or the sun will damage them.  All the bedding and blankets, tea towels, and wash cloths had to be washed. The fridge and mini freezer had to be bleached.  Then we had to remember to bring essentials like a long lighter and wood for the campfire at night.  We had to decide our meals and then pack food and all the condiments that go with hamburgers and hot dogs.  Everything had to be safely secured, so that nothing would fall during transport.  And all this was relatively easy compared to the days when we used to tent, and packed everything into the back of our Volvo.  In spite of all of our careful planning and packing, we still managed to forget suntan lotion, a wrench, and even underarm deodorant!  Well, nobody’s perfect.

The first day we were exhausted, but forged on determined to enjoy every minute of our outdoor experience.  We cooked breakfast outside, then cleaned up and decided to go for a long bike ride in the 30+ heat (yes, Manitoba has had incredibly high temperatures all summer and now in September, and sometimes well into October and we’ve enjoyed many a mild winter too!).  After trekking downhill in the heat to the small man-made lake (which was surprisingly busy for the first day of school), we just sat there in the shade and enjoyed the view.  I tried my hardest not to think of the ride back “uphill” in the heat and that I wouldn’t be going swimming because of the posted signs at the beach warning of “swimmers itch.” 

But in spite of the heat and all the hard work to get there and stay there, by the third day, my husband and I found ourselves talking more, listening more and caring more, now that we didn’t have all the distractions and outside pressures of our regular life.  We had learned to live together in harmony in this small social setting.  We enjoyed meeting new neighbours (also Christians) and sharing our stories, laughing about the things we had forgotten (they had forgotten the key to their camper, so had to climb in from the outside), and sharing addresses to keep in touch.  We felt that an important connection was made with them, and one that was orchestrated by God.  To add to our enjoyment, a little red squirrel kept running through our site eating his nut and talking to us at the same time.  When it came time to leave, we worked so well together, that we had everything packed up in an hour and a half, record time, and we drove off into the heat of the day, knowing that it was time to go.

Some stresses in life teach us many things, and camping is one of them.  Try as we may, and we have discussed this over many times, we have not yet found a way to simplify camping.  It is hard work and it involves a concerted effort on everyone’s part to make it work. That’s the blessing part of it – you work together, spend time together, and like the settlers of old, you not only get the work done, but you learn to live with much less, surrounded by the serene beauty and bounty of God’s nature.  In spite of all the hard work, inconveniences, inclement weather (too hot or too cold), adapting to natural surroundings, and the stress of trying to remember to pack everything, some of my fondest memories of our trips away are camping trips, and this past one will now be added to my scrapbook of memories.  What I learned about camping and all the stresses that go with it, is that sometimes you have to climb out of a well-loved comfort zone and face the unknown.  It might feel strange and uncomfortable at first, and it may not be the ideal circumstances, especially if rain or a wild animal drives you indoors, but it is a risk and a stress worth taking.  I highly recommend it because it adds so much to a person’s life, and has the ability to strengthen relationships, and sometimes introduces new ones! 

And no matter where we set up camp, we have this promise from the Bible:

Psa 91:9  If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge—

Psa 91:10  then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

Psa 91:11  For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

This is a beautiful picture and one to read before turning out the lantern and curling up in a sleeping bag, resting securely until the dawn of early light.    

     

Stress and Education

In just a few days, children of all school ages will be returning to school.  Most children and parents of school-aged children will be happy to get back into a routine.  Soon, university and college will begin and students of all ages will begin a more serious study in their field of interest.  Education is truly a wonderful thing and a privilege for anyone fortunate enough to pursue more knowledge.  But learning can have its pressures, too.  Students of all ages, who are trying to reach a certain mark or level, so that they will be awarded, either by moving into the next grade or semester, or perhaps receiving a scholarship for further education, are especially at risk for stress-related issues.  Even children of today feel pressures to succeed that I know I never felt until I at least reached high school, and I had to make the grade before I could even graduate!  But that was no problem.  I made sure I worked just hard enough to graduate.

Since graduating from high school, I have attended two separate colleges; and one university where I received two separate degrees.  I have also taken a correspondence course in magazine writing, and graduated with a certificate.  I also received a certificate in TESL (English as a Second Language).  As well, I began a business administration course through night school, took a few courses, but never completed the rest.  I have taken art courses, computer courses through work and other computer/business courses.  So I have had a lot of education and I know what it means to feel pressure.  Learning really pushes us out of our comfort zones, and forces our brain to reach a little deeper to add new understanding to what we already know.  In educational terms, it is called “scaffolding.”  For example, we may know something about computers, but nothing about coding in HTML.  So we use what knowledge we have about computers (like turning it on and finding our programs), and then we discover the computer language of HTML.  And with our new skills, one day we may have all the credentials we need to get a really good-paying job.

For me, probably the most difficult time concerning my education, was when I was working full time and going to night school.  I did this for six years, and I was so tired by the end of it, that I wondered if I could finish it all.  I took 15 full 6 credit hour courses, gave up five beautiful summers in summer school, and missed many weekends year-round with my family or going away like I always had done before.  I only had about three weeks at the end of the summer where I took some time off for a little holiday.  But I kept the goal in mind, that I was going to graduate and then I’d be done.  During that last year, because of some unpleasant things that had happened to me at work and in my personal life, I started to experience a minor breakdown and a burn-out.  I had to take time off work for about a year, and then slowly went back working only part-time.  I kept up with my studies, since I was advised to keep my mind occupied, but everything else suffered, especially my finances!  But I am so glad I stuck it out with my long-term goals of completing my education.

I know of some people who, when they reach the burn-out stage of their education, or things get too tough, just quit, and sometimes never complete their education.  Whenever I’ve met such people, I always encourage them to go back and finish their education, or if they are about to quit, to keep going.  At least two people that I encouraged in this way did just that.  One person went back and completed the degree, and the other person kept going and completed theirs.  Both of these people are now working in their professional field of choice.  I do not know if the other people I encouraged kept going or went back to complete it or not.  But as in anything else in life that seems overwhelming, we must learn to ask for help.  I prayed my way through all my education, and was able to complete most of it (except when I was a teenager, was backslidden, and didn’t ask God to help me complete my first college degree).  When I went to university, sometimes I’d be overwhelmed when I had to write an essay (and I must have written 40 or more altogether).  So I’d pray and God would send me help, or He’d clarify my thoughts so I could organize my essay and write it coherently without jumping all over the place.  I discovered that when I worked hard and did my part (the research for essays and study for exams), God would step in and do His part (clarify my thoughts and help me remember what I needed during exams).

I also learned how important it is to make sure and stand up for the Truth, according to the principals in the Bible.  If my professor denied God in class or had the audacity to make fun of my beliefs, I would challenge him or her, no matter what it might cost me in terms of a grade.  I also tried to incorporate examples from the Bible in many of my essays (especially those in English literature).  I believe that God rewarded me for doing this.  When I was forced to take a science course as part of my degree and I had to study evolution, since we were told to never once mention the possibility of creation (so much for critical thinking!), I prayed and asked God to help me through this godless course, and He did.  Actually, I had read almost every book about the evidence of creation from a popular Christian author (Henry Morris) who was also a scientist, so I was already well grounded.  So that is my next piece of advice – if you are attending a secular university, make sure you are well grounded in the Word of God before you ever enroll.  It will go a long way in keeping your thoughts right before God and man, and will save you a lot of heartache later on.  After graduating, it still took me about a year of solid Bible reading to re-gain my spiritual footing and renew my thoughts and heart before God. 

So, although education is a great thing, our spiritual lives are much more important.  If you are a parent with small children and your children will be attending a public school, pray for them every day.  Also, never hesitate to speak to the teachers to find out what exactly they are teaching your children.  You may be surprised at some of the literature your children will be exposed to.  Try to keep on top of that and if you disagree with what they are teaching your child, pull them out of the classroom and tell the teacher(s) it goes against your beliefs, and then ask for alternative literature or lessons.  In some cases, you may have to take them out of the public school altogether, and enroll them in a Bible-based Christian school of your choice.  And keep tabs on them when it comes to technology.  Find out what sites they’re going to on the internet, and use your better judgment when it comes to allowing them to have a smart phone!  You are their first and most influential teacher, not the school.  Participate fully in their learning experience and you’ll have much less to worry about now and later on.  If it means cutting back on other things (career and extra-curricular), then do so, because what your children learn now will shape their entire lives.  

Pro 1:5  let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—

Pro 1:7  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Pro 1:8  Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Pro 1:9  They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

Pro 1:10  My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them.  NIV

We are all in a state of learning, whether we’re in school or not.  Life has many lessons to teach us and sometimes they will be hard.  But if we know Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, He will be there with us to help us succeed at every stage of the learning process.  May God be with you and bless you today in whatever learning stage you are at!