Stress & Home Life

Home is said to be the only place you can really go to find your center, i.e., it is where you go to escape the stresses of the world outside.  It is a place to store your stuff, and to happily decorate, where you eat, sleep and possibly socialize.  This is where your land line phone is, your mailbox, your computer, your favorite books, hobbies, your fridge, clothes, TV and so on.  Most importantly, this is likely where the rest of your family is as well, including your pets.  So you wouldn’t think home life would present stress issues, would you? And yet it can and so often does.  In fact, some people avoid going home or staying home, because they want to avoid all the work that awaits them there.  Others don’t want to be alone with their thoughts.  Some people find it boring to be at home, away from the action happening in the outside world.

Two of the most obvious stresses that immediately come to mind are the stress from other family members, and on the opposite end of the scale, the stress of being alone.  For instance, if you are a parent with more than one child, one of your stresses is likely making sure that your children are getting along and not fighting with each other.  Added to that, you are trying to train them and prepare them for school life, help them with their homework, or get them to clean their own room.  And if your children are real small, you may feel like you can never go out without hiring a babysitter.  Once they are older, you experience a whole new set of stresses once they start dating!  If you are single with no partner or children, one of your stresses may be loneliness and finding a way out of that.  There are other situations where home life can be stressful, for example, if you are unemployed, retired, or ill and unable to work for a time.  In each of these situations, it isn’t necessarily your “home” that is the source of stress, but the fact that you are “house-bound” either because you have no place to go, or don’t know where to go, or you are too sick or tired to go anywhere. 

As well, there can also be a great deal of stress if you work at home, either as a stay-at-home mom, housewife or househusband, or even if you work at home running your own business.  When I used to work in an office all day, I would long for the day I could work at home.  I wanted to write full time and have the freedom to pursue my artistic interests, on my own time and out of the comfort of my own home.  Finally, that day came and all by a miracle of God.  I thank God for opening up this door for me.  But working at home definitely has its challenges too.  You wouldn’t think that working at home would be associated with stress, but surprisingly, it can be and is.  For one thing, you need to be disciplined to actually get down to doing the work, and not being side-tracked in doing too many other things.  If you don’t set guidelines for yourself, your work will pile up and not get done.  The other obvious stress, and this has been discussed in many an article and magazine, is the lack of social interaction.  So if at all possible, it is important to go out, even briefly, and be with people and interact somehow.

But since most people work outside of their home, what can be done to make home a welcoming and peaceful retreat, and a place you look forward to going to?  As far as housework goes, or keeping a place clean, organized and liveable, that’s where some determination and sweat comes in.  Three areas that I find constantly need attending are the washrooms, kitchen and laundry.  Other jobs are sweeping and wiping floors, picking up clutter, feeding our cats and attending to their various wants, and trying to sort out the piles of mail we get.  Since I work at home, I am frequently trying to keep my work life separate from my home life, which can be most stressful since I do so many different things (writing, artwork, sewing, scrapbooking, etc.) and do not have one large separate workshop.  Often, my work is in two different residences and the other residence is 1½ hours away.  So I have to really think about what I’ll be doing each week, so I don’t forget something when I go to the other residence.

What I have learned, and read, is that whether you work at home or not, finding a way to be organized is paramount.  Remember all the HGTV shows about getting rid of clutter?  I remember a talk show that dealt with clutter and showed a woman who had accumulated so much stuff she couldn’t even find her furniture!  Her home was like a warehouse with piles and piles of goods she had bought, and there was only a narrow walkway in each room to get from room to room.  What a great incentive to think twice before you buy more than one item of the same thing because it’s on sale!  Nowadays, it isn’t difficult to find ways to stay organized and you can be very creative in doing so.  I use baskets for magazines, gift bags, and so on.  Otherwise, in my craft room, I keep everything in clear storage bins so I can see what’s in them.  I try to get rid of things all the time – they are donated, sold or thrown out altogether.  I try to make it a rule, especially when it comes to kitchen things, that if I buy something new, the old must go.  If I buy a new set of juice glasses, the old ones will be given away.  Otherwise, where would I store all these extra glasses?  Every season, I try to get rid of clothes to make room for new ones I may have bought.  And finally, I bought a hand-sized labeller.  If my storage box isn’t clear so that I can see what’s in it, I label my boxes so I can easily find things.  If you live in a smaller space, consider floor to ceiling shelving units.  These are great for books, photo albums, and DVD’s.  When it comes to housecleaning and organizing, take your time and make it something you enjoy.  Think of the freedom you’ll feel once it’s done and you’ve freed up some extra space by getting rid of some clutter.    

Finally, and this is most important, whenever you move to a new place, make it a habit to pray over each room.  Pray for God’s presence to be with you all the while you live in your new home.  In fact, you can do this at any time.  And start your day with prayer.  Ask God to guide you and lead you and ask for His perfect peace to be felt in your life and in your home.  Pray over and if possible, pray with your family.  You can do this after mealtime when (hopefully) everyone is together.  In our home, we pray together and discuss important issues together.  I can tell you, that when you invite God into your life, and into your living spaces, not only will you enjoy being at home more, but your guests will feel it too.  This is a great gift to give yourself, your friends and family since they may need a place to find peace and refuge from the hard day or difficult week they have just undergone. And what better way to relieve stress than to gather together your favorite people and enjoy a nice meal or even just a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake?  For what really makes a house or an apartment a home is the people and the love we have for one another.  Our home can be a place of worship to God and sweet fellowship with one another, like in the first church recorded in the New Testament.  Look at the beautiful picture of fellowship presented here:

Act 2:42  They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Act 2:43  Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.

Act 2:44  All the believers were together and had everything in common.

Act 2:45  Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

Act 2:46  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

Act 2:47  praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. NIV

Have a wonderful day and enjoy your home and all the people (and pets) in it.  And if it feels too lonely, do a little dusting, put on the tea kettle, and invite someone over for a fun time of fellowship.