The Stress of Decision Making

All of life is a gamble.  Every morning we wake up, we have no idea how our day will turn out.  We look out the window and see what the weather is like.  And immediately we are faced with a decision – what will I wear?  And the weather can determine the direction of our day.  If it is summer and it is cloudy or perhaps raining, and we have planned an outdoor activity, we may have to change our plans.  Making plans and changing plans can be stressful, and when events we have looked forward to have to be changed, it can be disappointing as well.  I am sure we can all agree that life is filled with uncertainty.  Even the Bible says it is: 

Ecc 8:17  Then I beheld all the work of God, that a man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun: because though a man labour to seek it out, yet he shall not find it; yea further; though a wise man think to know it, yet shall he not be able to find it. KJV 

One of the things I discovered when researching the Bible for this topic, is that God really cares about the decisions we make in life.  When I looked up the word way I found 134 references alone in the Books of Wisdom in the Old Testament (King James Version).  I also discovered that mankind may think that he makes decisions independent of God (i.e. – he is self-made), but nothing could be further from the truth.  God is intimately involved in every decision we make (although he never condones sin and sinful acts), whether we profess to know God and believe in Him or not!  This is an astounding fact.  Here is just one verse to substantiate that: 

Pro 20:24  A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? NIV  

Considering this then, many of our decisions are not something we should even consider making without first consulting God.  I love asking God about things.  God is so Awesome (and I use this word awesome only in the context that it belongs solely TO God as one of HIS many attributes), He knows everything and about everything.  He is the best consultant for every decision we need to make in this life.  It would be foolish to let our pride ever get in the way of consulting God about any indecision we are faced with.  I have been privileged to struggle with indecision throughout my lifetime.  And I deliberately say privileged, because without this indecisiveness, I would never have sought the Lord or the Bible as much as I have.  In fact, in some areas, I am pretty much indecisive every single day because God has not yet revealed the answers to me.  I have to wait.  But in this waiting, I am growing, and learning (however long it takes) the things that really matter. 

What are the things that really matter?  I believe we need to first grasp what the Big Picture is before we can even begin to tackle the smaller things.  Just imagine that you are building a new house.  What is the first thing that needs to happen?  From what I’ve seen, you usually start with the foundation.  Without a firm foundation, your house will never stand and everything you build will fall apart.  All it would take is one big storm or a series of storms and your house would come crashing down.  So why would anyone ever build a house without first building a foundation for it to stand on?  And yet many people are doing just that today.   People without God (they don’t believe and they don’t acknowledge Him) are already living in a condemned building (their own body and soul – see John 3:17-18; John 3:36).  Their foundation is likely the things of this world and all of that will pass away.  But even more important is our eternal destiny!  After all of the decisions are made in this life, if we haven’t made our hearts right with God, we have failed to make the most important decision of all.  Without accepting Jesus into our heart and life and profess Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, we will be forever separated from the presence of God.  But once we accept Him, our future changes – we are no longer condemned, but are seated in heavenly places (see Eph. 2:6) and will spend eternity with God in heaven.  So the Big Picture is our eternal destiny and that’s the most important decision we can ever make.  Without God we are lost and we will remain lost forever and ever.  If you know you are not yet a Christian, but you’d like to become one, you are encouraged to do that today and without delay!  Click here to find out how.  

Then after we are saved, everything we do to build upon our faith and walk with the Lord matters, and one day all of our works will be tested. 

1Co 3:11  For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

1Co 3:12  If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw,

1Co 3:13  his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work.

1Co 3:14  If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward.

1Co 3:15  If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.  NIV 

So what is the gold, silver and costly stones that will survive the fire when we are tested by our works?  I believe that these are the works of our own obedience when we’ve obeyed the calling God has placed on our lives.  In a nutshell, I believe it means that we obey His Word and strive to live a life that is worthy of Him, we share the Good News of the Gospel, we disciple new believers and we remain faithful to our post whatever that may be. 

So what about decisions like what career to choose, where to live, who to marry, how many (if any) children to have, what kind of house to buy and so on?  These can be very important decisions in life and no one would ever underestimate that, but these are the very things we are not to worry about, hard as that may seem.  We need to be so busy working in and for the Kingdom of God that these other things will take care of themselves.  But nevertheless, we still want to know how to make sound and right decisions, especially when these decisions will definitely affect our life (especially relationships we get into).  So how do we know what to do and what is the right decision?

Without going into a lot of detail, I’d like to offer some suggestions.  First, we must trade in our wisdom for God’s wisdom: 

Jas 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Jas 1:6  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

Jas 1:7  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;

Jas 1:8  he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. NIV 

We pray about it according to God’s will, and then we believe that God will give us the best answer.  Then we wait. 

Secondly, we look at the doors that God has currently left open, and we look at the ones He has closed.   My husband and I are in a situation where we have dual residences – one is in the city, the other in cottage country.  Both places are often in need of repair, so we always have an added expense.  Yet, the place in the city is perfect for the winter season, since there is no daily commute on icy roads to the job in the city.  The place in cottage country is perfect for the summer since it is right by a lake, and other than the hard work to keep the big yard looking nice and the house repairs, it can be very therapeutic to be there.  So we weigh out the good with the bad, and none of the doors have opened to sell either place.  So we continue to keep and maintain them both.  Of course we have to sacrifice and not take vacations away and some of the repairs on the house must wait, but perhaps one day, that too will happen for us.  Most of the time we have peace about the situation, so we continue to try and keep up both places; and for the most part, we enjoy them both.  And that is the third thing, peace.    

When it comes to peace, you have to be careful.  Does the peace you have from making a decision give you a sense of relief?  If so, this is probably not enough.  You must have peace in your mind and in your heart.  Generally, in my experience, once you’ve prayed and believed and waited, when God moves, everything will fall into place, and I mean everything!  This is what happened when my husband and I fell in love and got married almost immediately afterwards (within four weeks in total).  Absolutely everything fell into place and we had no doubt that we were meant for each other.  The same thing happened when we bought our house in cottage country.  The same thing happened when we bought our place in the city.  Everything fell into place in a miraculous sort of way each time and we knew it had to be God.  We could never have orchestrated any of these things.  Of course we had to look for the house and the place in the city.  And my husband had to initiate and ask me to marry him.  And in the case of a job or a career, you may need to work hard at your education to even get the job in the first place.  Or you may need to knock on a lot of employer’s doors before one opens, but it is God that opens these doors.  

Another thing to keep in mind when making decisions, and this is something that’s taken me a long time to learn, when God opens doors, it is always to His ultimate glory.  In other words, it will affect not just you and your family, but likely many others as well.  After I spent a year in Bible School, I went back home to the small town I had been raised in and I worked at various jobs.  But after about a year, I knew it was time to move on.  But I had absolutely no idea where to go from there.  One day it became crystal clear to me.  In fact, God spoke it so clearly I thought I heard Him audibly speak!  I was to go back to the city.  Well everything fell into place – I immediately had a job and a place to live.  And it was in this same city that I met my future husband (only about a year later in fact, even though we didn’t marry for several years after that).  It was hard adjusting to the city life again and there were times I wondered if this is really where I wanted to be.  But God continued to keep the doors open for me to live and work in the city.  As time went on, I became more involved in people’s lives and I could see God working.  But it wasn’t until many years later that I could look back and see what God had in mind when He told me to move to the city.  This is where He planted me, and it was through all the difficulties of city life that my life began to bear fruit for Him.  If I’d stayed in the small town where I’d been raised, I never would have met the people I ministered to in the city (who also went on to minister to many others), and I never would have met my loving husband (who allows me to write full time!).  So sometimes the place God calls you is not your first choice, but remember the Big Picture – how many lost souls will be reached because He sent you someplace or because you remain where you are right now? 

Today if you are struggling to make an important decision, God knows the right one for you to make.  Just ask Him and see what He says.  He’ll open and close doors in your life, and when the time is right, everything will fall into place.  Until then, we have a job to do.  So let’s get busy and keep working to the glory of God and for His Kingdom, and He’ll take care of the rest!